Inside Variety’s Women of Reality TV Celebration: Watch the Toasts, Tea and Tears

The hottest reality TV stars in show business gathered on Wednesday to celebrate Variety’s inaugural Women of Reality TV power list, presented by DirecTV. Honoring the 40 most powerful women in unscripted entertainment, the Bravo elite mingled with real estate flippers, dancers, judges, singers, survivors, amazing racers and those just looking for love.

Despite being at capacity with women known for delivering on drama, the conversation often revolved around the realities of being vulnerable with the world. And for just one night, everyone was there for the right reasons.

Snacking on caviar potato puffs and Spago’s salmon pizza, the honorees gathered for a cocktail party before the dinner. An elated Heidi D’Amelio of “The D’Amelios” snapped a selfie with “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” star Teresa Giudice, who flew in for the celebration with husband Luis Ruelas. Heather Gay of “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” threw her hands up in excitement after spotting Atlanta housewife Kandi Burruss and her husband Todd Tucker.

Accompanied by her daughter, Gay was elated to pose with guests but turned serious (for just a moment) on the carpet when the topic of castmate Monica Garcia was broached. “Bermuda was truly a turn of events for all of us … the way it all exploded and didn’t really resolve at the reunion is something to watch for as well. The resolution wasn’t typical of a reunion, I don’t think.” Will she ever film with Garcia again? “I don’t think I ever will … ever.”

Meanwhile the cornerstone of the Oppenheim real estate empire and “Selling Sunset” staple Mary Bonnet sipped drinks with co-star Bre Tiesi and former cast mate Heather Rae El Moussa. And despite Rae El Moussa’s recent move to HGTV with new husband Tarek El Moussa, there’s still hope for her to join the cast in the new season, Bonnet revealed on her “Breakthrough Stars of Reality TV” panel. “Nothing is going to keep me away from her,” Bonnet said. “She is an angel and I love her and I’m trying every single time I can get to get her back on. I’m working on it, I don’t like to fail.”

The first conversation of the night was the Legacy panel, moderated by editor-at-large Kate Aurthur, which featured Burruss, from “The Real Housewives of Atlanta,” Kyle Richards, from “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Jenni “JWOWW” Farley from “Jersey Shore,” Cirie Fields from “The Traitors,” “Big Brother,” and “Survivor” and Carrie Ann Inaba from “Dancing With the Stars.”

Each woman, all established stars of reality TV, acknowledged that the spotlight has not always been welcoming or warm. OG “Dancing With the Stars” judge Inaba got choked up discussing how close she came to leaving the franchise in the past. “As the only female judge for most of the seasons, I get a lot more hate than the men do. And people doubt what I say.” Saying she was getting emotional, Inaba continued, saying, “So I really appreciate that you guys are having this moment for the women in this business — because we’re all carrying a load that’s a little different. And I feel it’s such an honor that you guys see that.”

Richards of “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” shared that pain. The housewife announced in July she was separating from her husband of 27 years, Mauricio Umansky, a drama viewers have been watching unfold on the show’s 13th season, which premiered in late October. Asked whether she tells the show’s producers ahead of time what they’re going to see when filming starts, Richards said that for this season — which began production in February — she hadn’t. “Because I really wasn’t ready to share everything. You know, we hadn’t even shared with our daughters yet,” she said. “And I knew the cameras were going up, and I thought, ‘How am I going to do this?’ Because I don’t have a good poker face. That’s very apparent this season, in watching. So that was scary for me.”

When asked how she dealt with the hardest things she’s been through on camera, Burruss recalled a bizarre storyline from Season 9 of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta.” The lie had been spread by Porsha Williams, and, during an explosive reunion revelation, had been started by then-fellow cast mate Phaedra Parks. “I would say one of my worst years on the show was when we were accused of drugging somebody,” Burruss said. “I mean, I don’t even like to talk about it, really, to be honest with you. It was a crazy situation that just exploded, and a situation I never thought I’d see myself in, happening on the show. And that was one the times where I really felt like, ‘I can’t do this anymore.’ But we made it through.”

The second panel highlighted the new breakout reality TV stars and included Bonnet, Desorbo, Charity Lawson from “The Bachelorette” and “DWTS” and Sasha Colby, winner of season 15 of “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” The conversation again turned to exposing the often unpleasant parts of your life to an audience of strangers.

Colby went even deeper into that discussion, revealing that for years on the drag pageant circuit, she held back personal stories about addiction. When she eventually shared her journey with the crowd the judges responded, landing her the crown for the coveted Miss Continental.

“I was heavily addicted to crystal meth from the ages of 19 to 23,” Colby said. “And I was so scared to say that out loud — I can’t believe I’m saying in front of all the people I watch on TV right now — that shame carried me to not getting my blessing. I was blocking my blessing. The second did that, not only did I get my blessing, but I was able to help other people through my vulnerability.” Colby said this reveal opened a channel between her and other drag queens and addiction survivors.

The reality stars-turned-podcasters gathered for the third and final panel, Success Across Platforms: Reality TV to Podcasting (also moderated by Longeretta). “Orange County” housewife and co-host of “Two Ts in a Pod” Tamra Judge joined former “Bachelorette” Rachel Lindsay (now the co-host of “Higher Learning), along with former “Hills” star Whitney Port (“With Whit”) and “Dancing with the Stars”‘ Cheryl Burke who runs the podcast “Sex, Lies and Spray Tans.”

In a crossover move fans could only dream of, Judge asked Port if she lived in Orange County, because they “might be casting” for “The Real Housewives of Orange County.” When Port said she lived in Los Angeles, Judge responded with, “Shit, do you mind moving?”

Calling her fellow panelists “unicorns,” Port was excited to share the stage. “Oh my god, this is what it feels like to meet all your heroes?,” she exclaimed.

The conversation swiftly turned to what the podcasters were comfortable sharing with the public. Unsurprisingly, Judge revealed there’s very little she holds back and isn’t afraid to hold the housewives accountable, despite having personal relationships with several of them. “You’re only as good as this week’s episode, I know Kyle, I love Kyle. But [if] Kyle’s gonna be a dick this episode. I might have to mildly call her out … but I try to do it in the softest, sweetest fucking way possible,” she said.

Port had a different experience than the rest. Reflecting on her time on reality TV, the podcaster recalled how different that era was: “We didn’t have confessionals when we were doing ‘The Hills,’ we didn’t have social media.” Thus, she only recently encountered this dilemma navigating the waters of radical transparency, especially when it came to the fertility issues she initially shared with her listeners. After getting an influx of opinions about her journey, Port pulled back, “Fans are so used to you being very open about everything … And I think that that’s not fair. I don’t think that we have to share every single thing that is going on in our lives,” she said. “I’m sorry to all the producers and executives.”

“I don’t have any boundaries,” Judge responded.

Lindsay concurred, “I don’t have any boundaries either … I don’t care what people think!”

“No boundaries, no filter … I give zero shits,” said Judge.

“I care so much,” said Port.

Lindsay added that her ambivalence to the public opinion is possibly due to the fact that she grew up in a time with social media and is used to seeing people’s feedback in comments. “It’s a little different,” she said. “The reason I say I don’t care is because I love podcasting. There’s something so freeing about putting on the headphones, turning up the microphone and just having a conversation. It feels like you’re talking to friends, it’s comforting.” Emphasis the benefits of engaging in the conversation, “you just let yourself go and you can’t care what other people think, your audience will be your audience.”

When considering what to share on her podcast, Burke said she wants to give guests the opportunity to “express their feelings, and then at the same time still honor the show.” For fans who watch the show, she added, “They will also want to know what it’s like behind the mirror ball, behind the glitz and glam because it’s also not that glamorous sometimes … It’s blood, sweat and tears.”