Regina King appeared on “Good Morning America” on Thursday to give her first TV interview since the death of her son, Ian Alexander Jr., in January 2022.
Speaking with Robin Roberts, the Oscar-winning actor said she is “a different person now” following his death two years ago.
“Grief is a journey, you know. I understand that grief is love that has no place to go,” she said. “I know that it’s important to me to honor Ian in the totality of who he is, speak about him in the present, because he is always with me and the joy and happiness that he gave all of us.”
Alexander Jr., a musician and DJ, died by suicide in January 2022 at the age of 26. He was King’s only child.
“When it comes to depression, people expect it to look a certain way — they expect it to look heavy,” King said. “To have to experience this and not be able to have the time to just sit with Ian’s choice, which I respect and understand … He didn’t want to be here anymore, and that’s a hard thing for other people to receive because they did not live our experience, did not live Ian’s journey.”
Through tears, King continued to open up about her grieving process, saying that initially she “was so angry with God.”
“Why would that weight be given to Ian? Of all of the things that we had gone through — therapy, psychiatrists, programs — and Ian was like, ‘I’m tired of talking, Mom,’” she said, adding: “Sometimes, a lot of guilt comes over me. When a parent loses a child, you still wonder, ‘What could I have done so that wouldn’t have happened?’ I know that I share this grief with everyone, but no one else is Ian’s mom, you know? Only me. So it’s mine. And the sadness will never go away. It will always be with me.”