Top 15 ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ Episodes, Ranked

Like many episodes of “Curb,” this Season 6 favorite finds Larry on an apology tour after mocking a woman at the frozen yogurt shop who is “abusing” her “sample privileges.” (That woman turns out to be the headmaster of an elite school that holds the keys to Sammi Green and the Black children’s futures.) In an attempt to make things right, Larry steals flowers from Marty Funkhouser’s mother’s roadside memorial, and then, to curry favor from Cheryl and Loretta (Vivica A. Fox), swipes another couple of bouquets to bring back home.

Hall of Fame quotes: Larry’s “You’re a little too old to be an orphan. … Little orphan Funkhouser”; “Usually, the customer is a moron and an asshole.”

The series’ most consequential golf episode (and there are many), “The Black Swan” begins with Larry, Marty (Bob Einstein), Jeff (Jeff Garlin) and Andy (Richard Kind) getting stuck behind the slowest foursome at the country club. After Larry loudly confronts one of the golfers, he’s told their screaming match led to his fatal heart attack. Luckily, Larry’s group has an early tee time the next day, but he’ll soon have more blood on his hands. When the club owner Mr. Takahashi’s (Dana Lee) beloved black swan charges Larry on the course, he butchers the bird with his golf club and buries it in the bushes. Larry couldn’t really care less about either of his alleged victims, but he’ll spend the remainder of the episode trying to cover up his crimes.

Hall of Fame quotes: Funkhouser’s lousy consolation: “Look, it may have been an accident, but you’re a murderer”; Larry’s lunchtime plea: “Let me explain something to you, moron. Swan killers leave; people who aren’t swan killers stay.”

In a brilliant self-satire, Michael J. Fox cameos on “Curb” as one of Larry’s strongest nemeses, shoving him and shaking up his soda with a knowing glare and an iron defense. As Fox relishes pissing Larry off, he — and everyone else in New York City, including then-mayor Mike Bloomberg — insists it’s just his Parkinson’s disease. Elsewhere, Larry warms up to his flame’s flamboyant son, gifting him a sewing machine much to his mother’s dismay (“What, are you trying to turn him gay?).

Hall of Fame quotes: Larry’s enraged “I’m very sympathetic to the Parkinson’s! But just having Parkinson’s doesn’t give you carte blanche to take advantage of the non-Parkinson’s!”; Larry’s response to Susie’s assertion that Greg is too young to have a sexual orientation: “He will be gay. He’s pre-gay.”

After Cheryl’s aunt dies by suicide, Larry takes it upon himself to write an obituary and get it published in the paper. Of course, he’s then held responsible for a hilariously unfortunate typo that labels her a “devoted sister, beloved cunt.” Whoops! If that wasn’t enough, Larry is also accused of “copping a feel” on Jeff’s elderly mother and encouraging Cheryl’s sister’s boyfriend to break up with her despite the family tragedy. An early showcase of David’s incredible knack for provocation, “Beloved Aunt” fires on all cylinders and proves “Curb” can squeeze laughs from any topic.

Hall of Fame quote: Larry’s musing on Aunt Louise’s suicide: “If you leave your house for 10 minutes to go get a container of milk, you tell somebody where you went … would it have killed her to leave a note?”

For fans of “Curb,” but especially for fans of “Seinfeld,” the penultimate episode of Season 7 is a treasure trove. The cast of “Seinfeld” gathers for a table read of the reunion episode as Larry manages his actors’ egos while on his quest to rekindle his marriage with Cheryl. He sends Leon disguised as “Danny Duberstein” to console Michael Richards, who is stricken by “Groat’s Disease.” And he’s forced to develop a friendship with a 9-year-old girl that leads to one of the greatest closing scenes in “Curb” history. Plus: Leon repeatedly mispronouncing “bar mitzvahed” as “bar mitzfit”; Funkhouser crashing the set and telling Jerry an off-color joke; Richards atoning for his N-word scandal; Leon pointing to Jerry Seinfeld and Julia Louis-Dreyfus and asking, “Who are these two right here?”

Hall of Fame quote: Larry, without even one iota of awareness, explaining to his doctor why his skin is irritated: “I’ve been seeing this 9-year-old girl and she kind of has a rash on her pussy.”

“Denise Handicap” opens with Larry flirting up a girl in a coffee shop, only for them both to be unpleasantly surprised — Larry when Denise (Anita Barone) glides over to his table and he sees her wheelchair, and Denise when Larry later reveals the bald head under his hat. Larry genuinely takes a liking to Denise, but he amps up the affection after realizing that dating a person with disabilities scores him social points. Despite being offended on their first date, Denise still takes a foolish Larry home and lets him figure out the best way to mount himself on top of her while seated. Larry invites Denise to accompany him at a private concert, but when he loses her number, he decides to invite another woman who uses a wheelchair, Wendy (Amy Pietz). Unfortunately for Larry, both women show up at the event, and predictable awkwardness ensues.

Hall of Fame quotes: Larry’s pickup line: “I’m a good pusher”; Wendy’s response: “Yeah, you’re pushy alright”

Larry returned in full-force for Season 10 with a flurry of new cultural phenomena to add to the “Curb” lexicon, from mansplaining to #MeToo to Trump hats. “Happy New Year” introduces a bevy of storylines and concepts in just 35 minutes — Larry establishes that the the statute of limitations on the episode’s titular greeting is three days, uses a MAGA hat to repel unwanted company, practices the “big goodbye” and reignites his rivalry with Mocha Joe (Saverio Guerra). All that, and Larry still manages to sleep with ex-wife Cheryl (Cheryl Hines).

Hall of Fame quotes: Leon (J.B. Smoove) on MAGA hats: “No one ever wears those hats on backwards. If you’re gonna get your ass kicked, you wanna see it coming”; Larry to Ted Danson: “You don’t need to call her when you land. If there’s a plane crash, we’ll know about it.”

Art imitates art in this “Seinfeld” reunion inside the “Curb” universe. Larry’s plan to win back Cheryl via casting her as George Costanza’s ex in a “Seinfeld” reunion is threatened by her on and off-screen chemistry with Jason Alexander, whose character is ultimately modeled after Larry. But as George and his ex begin to reconcile in the episode-within-the-episode, so do Larry and Cheryl off set — that is, until Larry blames her for leaving a ring stain on Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ antique table. Wrapping up “Curb’s” most ingenious story arc, this episode gives us a pseudo-“Seinfeld” reunion, Larry’s hilariously bad George impression and the endlessly quotable, “Do you respect wood?”

Hall of fame quotes: Larry to Cheryl mid-kiss: “Do you respect wood?”; Larry belittling Jason about his pamphlet-sized book: “I’ll read it with dinner”

Even if this episode hadn’t saved an innocent man from going to prison, it would still be ranked among the very best of the “Curb” canon. As Marty Funkhouser (Bob Einstein) mourns the loss of his father, Larry tries — and fails — to guilt him into giving away his Dodgers tickets. When he snags his own ticket, he skirts traffic by picking up a prostitute named Monena (Kym Whitley), allowing him to use the carpool lane. After the game, Larry and Monena get baked with Larry’s dad (Shelley Berman).

Hall of Fame quotes: Monena justifying her hourly rate: “Honey, I got a red snapper that talks to ya”; Larry trying to negotiate with a prostitute: “Are you familiar with Henry Clay?”

When Maureen (Jillian Bell) insists on wearing crop-tops to work, Larry and Jerry Seinfeld spar over who has to confront her about buying longer shirts. Of course, Larry’s brashness causes her to quit, and in order to avoid a crisis, Larry must convince Maureen to come back. In one of the most absurd storylines in “Curb” history — which involves an aggressive car horn, a Jesus painting and Larry almost getting arrested for exceeding his napkin limit at the local Italian deli — Larry ends up nearly falling off a building, holding onto Maureen’s flabby stomach for dear life.

Hall of Fame quotes: Jerry after seeing Larry’s excessive napkin habits: “You should bring a bath towel to eat”; Larry’s apology to Maureen: “Belly-button or no belly-button, we want you to come back.”

When Wanda Sykes gets engaged to a rapper named Krazee-Eyez Killa (Chris Williams), he confides in Larry that he enjoys cheating on his new fiancée. When Larry accidentally tells Cheryl, word gets to Wanda, and Krazee-Eyez is furious with Larry for breaching his trust. Predictably, Larry is not too pleased to be the target of a guy who earlier rapped to him, “If you say anything / You’ll beg me to die / ‘Cause I’ll make you suck my dick / Then I’ll nut in your eye.” Williams delivers one of the best guest appearances in “Curb” history, and Wanda is once again hilarious as Larry’s racial compass.

Hall of Fame quotes: Larry’s feedback on Krazee-Eyez’s rap: “I would change the ‘motherfucker’ to ‘bitch’”; Larry asking Krazee-Eyez, “Are you my caucasian?”

With Richard Lewis in need of a kidney and Larry unwilling to donate his, Larry decides the most logical plan of action is to pretend to be an Orthodox Jew in order to befriend the head of the kidney consortium, Ben Heineman (Stuart Pankin), and spend a weekend with him on the slopes, hoping his charm will move Richard to the top of the kidney transplant list. As the charade snowballs, Larry stumbles through some fake Yiddish and yells about milchig plates, but the limits of his faux-Orthodoxy are tested when he ends up stuck on a broken ski lift with Ben’s daughter at sunset. Meanwhile, Richard’s nurse Lisa (Mo Collins) tells Larry that she used to date Jeff (Jeff Garlin) and that he has a small penis. Jeff denies the allegations, claiming she has “the biggest vagina known to man.” At the end, one of them is proven right.

Hall of Fame quotes: Jeff’s “These big vagina ladies are getting away with murder”; Larry to Lisa: “I submit you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina and walked right on out of here!”

A special hourlong season finale, “Opening Night” is a worthy payoff after a season of watching Larry rehearse for Mel Brooks’ play “The Producers” (based on his real play, based on his real movie). The play within “Curb” — about two producers scheming to get rich off a Broadway flop — turns out to be quite meta, as a delighted Brooks rejoices at the bar when Larry nearly ruins the production. Watching Larry and David Schwimmer perform as Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom, respectively, is a true joy, and a cameo from Stephen Colbert makes for one of the season’s most memorable moments. This episode also caps off one of “Curb’s” most enticing storylines — Larry hoping to cash in on his (soon expiring) 10th anniversary present from Cheryl by sleeping with another woman. Larry has basically reached the finish line with his co-star (Cady Huffman playing Cady Huffman playing Ulla in “The Producers”) — until he spots a photo of George W. Bush in her green room.

Hall of Fame quotes: A disgusted Larry’s “You’re a republican?”; a bewildered Jeff’s “A picture of Bush, who gives a flying fuck? I’d fuck her with a Bush mask on!”

A fan-favorite episode, “The Doll” establishes Susie (Susie Essman) as a true force to be reckoned with and introduces her spaghetti western theme (you know, the kind of music typically reserved for cowboy movie villains). After Larry and Julia Louis-Dreyfus successfully pitch a show to ABC, Larry accidentally traumatizes the head TV executive’s six-year-old daughter by cutting off her antique doll’s hair. Like any good manager, Jeff comes up with a plan to replace the doll by stealing his own daughter’s, but first, he and Larry must face Susie in the driveway, who angrily labels the pair “four-eyed fuck and fat piece of shit.”

Hall of Fame quotes: A manic Susie’s “The kid is home, hysterical, because her doll, Judy, has been decaaapitaaateeed”; A young Tara (Bailey Thompson) summing up the episode perfectly: “Mommy, that bald man’s in the bathroom, and there’s something hard in his pants!”

Larry David is no stranger to tackling tough subjects head-on, but “Palestinian Chicken” is an unrivaled high wire act in comedy and geopolitics. In a brilliant examination of the Israel-Palestine conflict via fictional chicken restaurant in Los Angeles, “Curb” explores zionism, antisemitism and forbidden sex. When Larry and Jeff start to patron a Palestinian restaurant, Larry falls for a woman who turns him on by calling him a “filthy fucking Jew” in bed. Meanwhile, they catch one of their golf mates cheating on his wife at the eatery — a dilemma that threatens their upcoming tournament prospects. When religious and politically charged protests erupt after a second restaurant location opens next to a Jewish deli, Larry is caught between a much larger struggle: choosing his friends versus his star-crossed lover.

Hall of Fame quotes: Jeff’s “If by some chance she’s gonna get over her antisemitism, odds are — not with you”; Larry’s mid-intercourse “I’m an occupier!”